For the past week or so, I’ve been staring at a blank word document trying to make myself write something. Anything.
It’s not that I didn’t have anything to write. I have to finish writing features on games, work on job applications, create my class curriculum. The list goes on.
But the word document just sat, its cursor mocking my gaze with its blinks.
It’s my first true encounter of writer’s block; something I like to think I’ve encountered before on those long nights, writing my seminar papers at one in the morning, invoking a glass of red wine as my muse. But never to this extent.
I couldn’t even bring myself to write about things I wanted to. I mean, who doesn’t want to write awesome stuff about video games? But for some reason, it just wasn’t working. My mind was not in the place to write, at least at the level I wanted it to.
That led me to stepping back and asking myself the ever-dwindling question–why am I writing? As passionate as I am about games, I’m not writing because of games. I’m writing because writing is a process that allows me to put together my thoughts, explore them, and to share stories and passions. I think, because I have solely focused on writing about games outside of my academic career, I’ve closed myself off from the reason I started this in the first place. From the reason I became an English major, a choice that profoundly changed my life.
And now I want to change that.
While Pixel Hearts originally started as a portfolio for my research and writing in video games, I’ve finally decided to let it become a culmination of my passions. More often than not, I always found the things I love overlapping in contexts I didn’t think possible. And, to be honest, I’ve become a little jaded solely focusing on games. Having everything here, in one place, will allow me to easily establish those connections into my experiences as a writer, journalist, and storyteller…. even in the realm of video games.
Pixel Hearts will still maintain a focus on games, but along with that I am bringing in my love of the nature and literature, my background in teaching, and my own personal voice. Here you will still find a passion for games, but also stories about the environment and wildlife, adventures in the world of education, and my own personal musings on the ever-complicated exploration of humanity.
And with this, that blank document is slowly fading away into a juxtaposition of words and consciousness. I can’t wait to see what this becomes, and I hope those of you who peruse this blog for games, will find excitement in this change as well.